AlgoMantra, b. 2005

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Monday, April 11, 2005
The Truth About 29th April, 2005
On Thursday - April 28, 2005, a fleet of Vogon spaceships will surround the Earth and subsequently destroy it. Legend has it that only a tramp named Arthur Dent survives this catastrophe with a book that keeps telling him "Don't Panic!".

This is not true. We have a replacement Earth stashed away, and all we need to do is switch it on!

At 7PM on April 29, 2005, after the Vogon ships have returned, assuming foolishly that earthlings have perished in the boom-booms - the participants of the AlgoMantra festival, everywhere on the globe, will take a vow of silence for 58 hours, that is till Sunday night 9PM. During these 58 hours, they play three games as a yagna to invoke the hidden earth, to reclaim it from nothingness, to flick the switch on Earth II.

The festival will celebrate the death of planet Earth-I. As you can see on the top-left corner of this image in front of you, it will be a planetary conference of shanti-chanting skeletons, the undead who will survive the Vogon attack. Why will we survive? Because we have an antidote to the Vogons' hypersonic weapons of mass destruction - "mass algorithmic silent serendipity" (MASS).

Rules to the silent games themselves are described in this holy scripture, and as divine games tend to be - they are open source. If you find yourself conscious after 6:59:59 PM on Friday, April 29, 2005, you have survived the Vogon attack.

However, it would be foolish to assume that everyone you meet thence has also survived. Of course, those who survive will never realise that the attack ever happened. The hypersonic weapons will destroy the memory of the attack with your non-spiritual life, and only M.A.S.S. can restore your sense of belonging to the hidden new earth, by bringing into being the silent planet that we have been safe-keeping for thousands of years.

We don't care if you join our religion, or call it a religion, we don't care if you hyperlink us, hoodwink us, we don't care if you leave a comment saying you're sorry to hear this. It doesn't matter anymore. They're coming.

We just want someone to be home for Arthur when he finds his way back home, you know.
2 Comments: Post a Comment
Blogger objet petit M said ..

It is foolish, brothers and sisters - foolish foolish foolish - to think that only Earthlings will partake in this silent rampage.

No, in fact, we are dangerously behind in our preparations. Unlike our canine friends, the stray dogs on the streets of Bombay, who have been preparing for years. They have slept motionless on the streets, beneath the flow of human feet and traffic, silently decoding the philosophy of the Universe. They have learned to listen while we have rushed like headless chicken, unaware of the turbulence that now awaits us.

But worry not Earthlings. We now have an unanticipated weapon: a secret that has been hidden from humans for eons. A secret that will help us defeat the enemies that now encroach upon us.

So as the switch approaches, the participants of AlgoMantra Bombay will take a pledge to launch a series of strategic walks, AlgoYatras, to decode (among many other things) the secret our canine friends have kept secure for us. It will not be easy. But as a volunteers of the Yatra squad, we are ready for the hard task that awaits us.

So long we have pretended that movement consists of going from place A to place B. So foolish we have been!

2:45 AM 
Blogger Aishwarya said ..

"Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth."

11:42 AM